As much as I love this season of engagement, I have to admit it has had its challenges. I have to remind myself to submit to God’s plans instead of trying to make my own. You see I could have flown to Ghana and just eloped(lol the thought still crosses my mind sometimes) but I know that it was God’s plan for me to wait 8 months for a fiance visa. You know how I knew it was His plan? Because He told me. Yep, He told me (through a friend’s dream) that I wasn’t going to get married until December 2016 (or after!) but I refused to listen. I refused to submit to His plan at first, because I didn’t see how it was for my good. I should have trusted His plan because in Romans 8 it says God works all things for our good. But I decided to try and take everything into my own hands, but after moving the date of our wedding 4…5 times I FINALLY got it. It’s not about the destination (marriage) right now it is about the process and preparing me to be more like Him, that’s what God cares more about.
One important lesson He is teaching me is about submission to authority (Romans 13).Yep this is a bit of a dirty word. Yuck…”submission.” However, Even Jesus himself submitted to the will of his heavenly Father. Even to the point of death on a cross. If Jesus can endure a cross than I sure as heck can swallow my pride and let my husband-to-be start making some decisions that will impact our future marriage.
Here’s a story to demonstrate what ungodly and godly submission can look like. Ungodly submission looks combatative, involves some one who MUST have it their way and refuses to see an issue from another perspective. Last week I got to that place when talking with Evans. I literally ranted for 40 minutes about why we should make a certain decision. By the end of my rant, he quietly said, “Okay Jeanette, than you decide.” As soon as he said these words I became quiet. I realized I had taken the will to fight out of him. I had silenced his voice, and he had given up. This reality scared me and THEN I realized THAT I didn’t actually want to decide.
That’s when the Holy Spirit started to convict me, I knew I was in the wrong for trying to control the situation. If I refuse to submit my will now, then I will silence him for the rest of our marriage. I don’t want a passive man, I want a man who will lead me as Jesus is supposed to lead the Church. I don’t want to be a Church that refuses to listen. No matter what society says…someone does have to lead when you have two people trying to work together. And if the bible says he’s supposed to lead and be the head like Jesus is to the church (Ephesians 5:22-33) than by golly I’m going to listen to God’s word! Even when I have doubts about his decisions I know that God is honoring my decision to let Evans lead. In all honesty MOST of the decisions Evans makes I agree with!
After a long moment of silence, and conviction from the Holy Spirit I took a deep breath and said Evans, “I’m sorry I am being so quarrelsome, please, I don’t want to decide.” And with those words I felt such an UNEXPLAINABLE PEACE!
Imagine if Jesus Christ had decided to fight with God, and did like MOST human beings would have, and saved his own life instead of saving humanity? We would be in utter despair with no way to get back to right relationship with God! But Jesus submitted EVEN THOUGH HE WAS EQUAL WITH GOD. Ladies submission does not mean that you are any less than men. It just means that our roles are different. We are still to give wise counsel to our husbands (husbands to be) but we just leave the decision part to him. Which is honestly much more of a peaceful role.
Don’t buck at your man, respect and love him… And I promise life will get a whole lot more peaceful.