Questions to Consider in a Cross-Cultural Relationship

Evans and I in front of his country’s flag

As promised, below are a few more questions to consider when courting or dating someone, especially if they are from a different culture, ethnicity, and/or race than yourself.

These are questions for both of you to answer and to share with one another. Differing answers are normal, just make sure you talk about the differences and begin understanding why your partner answers differently. Notice what is important to them, and what’s important to you.


1.) Did you have both parents in your household when growing up? Who was your primary caretaker?

2.) What things did your mom do in the home and outside the home (i.e. worked outside the home, did all the cleaning, paid the bills, etc.)? *If your mom was not present feel free to skip this question.

3.) What things did your dad do in the home and outside the home? *If your dad was not present feel free to skip this question.

4.) What expectations do you have for your spouse to do in the home and outside the home? What expectations do you have for yourself?

5.) Did your parents have a visible relationship when you were growing up? Did you like how your parents’ relationship was while you were growing up? Why?

6.) Whose marriage relationship do you admire? Why?

7.) If your sibling was in a hard situation and needed to stay with someone would you allow them to stay with you if they asked? For how long?

8.) When was the last time you went to an event with extended family (i.e. 2nd cousins)? Why?

9.) Do you have family that you consider family, but are not blood related and are not in-laws? (i.e. “play brothers” or “aunties” etc.)

10.) What is your family’s history?How does your family history make you feel? Why?


1.) How important is culture to you?

2.) Do you feel like you have a culture? Why or Why not?

3.) Do you want to teach your children about your culture? (This is assuming that you want children or one child, if not you can skip this question)

4.) What are 3 things you would want to teach your spouse and/or children about your family history or about your culture?

5.) What holidays are most important to you? Why?

6.) What language did you first learn at home?

7.) What language do you want your children to learn at home? *Feel free to skip this question if it does not apply to you.

8.) Has your race or ethnicity impacted your life? Why?

9.) Did you have friends while you were growing up that were not your race and/or spoke a different language than you? How many?

10.) What are stereotypes associated with your race, ethnicity and/or culture? What do you think about those stereotypes?


1.) Describe the community(ies) you lived in while growing up?

2.) Would you want to go back to live in the community you grew up in? Why or Why not?

3.) Is knowing people in your neighborhood/apartment complex/dorm etc. important to you? Why or Why not?

4.) Where did you meet the majority of your friends?

5.) How often do you talk with close friends? How often do you see your close friends?

6.) Is it important for your friends to learn about or understand your culture? Why?

7.) On a scale from 1 to 10 how important is having close community (1 being least important)?

8.) What is community to you?


1.) How are you similar to your parents?

2.) How are you different from your parents?

3.) What is your favorite part about your own personality?

4.) Are you a picky/choosy person?

5.) Do you have friends now who are of a different ethnicity, race, and/or culture than you? Why or Why not?

6.) Would you be open to learning another language?

7.) Do you like to learn?

8.) Do you like meeting new people? Why or Why not?

9.) What do you define as having a successful life for yourself? How is your definition of success the same or different from how others that you were raised around would describe a successful life?

4 thoughts on “Questions to Consider in a Cross-Cultural Relationship

  1. I like to answer one question from ‘Personality’.

    My favorite part of my personality is that I am diligent. I like working hard especially with my blog and clip art businesses online. I always plan what clip arts to draw and what blog posts to discuss. I care about every detail and every word I write.

    1. That’s really neat! Diligence is such an important trait to have in a long distance relationship. Thanks so much for sharing a bit about your personality!

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